TRUSTING IN OUR STRUGGLES

Happy Thursday friends! Last month was my first weeks back at the office after quarantine, so I am trying my best to still balance my writing with work life and motherhood. Bear with me as I find my new groove.

As I read Exodus 33 earlier this week, I wanted to share this passage that stuck out to me.

In Exodus 33, God was instructing Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and into the promise land. Moses was questioning God and apprehensive about what God was asking Him to do. He couldn’t believe God chose Him to lead all those people out of slavery by himself. He didn’t think he was qualified. God’s answers to Moses were always reassuring and comforting. He was telling Moses that He will be with him as he leads. Little did Moses know the 40 year journey that he was about to embark on. The journey that became his very purpose for his life. He did indeed lead the people out Egypt with God leading him and never forsaking him. He began to trust in God’s plan as he saw it was good. You can see in later scripture, Moses starts following God’s commands without question. That trust in God part can be hard during times of distress and struggle. When we are faced with opposition or even internal affliction, it can be hard to understand God’s purpose for what we are going through. I know for me, being a Mom has revealed so many of my strengths, but also ALL of my weaknesses. When I feel defeated and exhausted, I often wonder how in the world I can I parent these children every single day in a way that will honor God?

I recently did a devotional study on the Bible app called Restoring Our View of Motherhood (by the way I love the Bible App! They have free bible plans and resources at your fingertips!). It reassured me that I am not alone in my feelings and reminded me that I am only human who is humbly in need of so much grace. I am so thankful we serve a God who uses grace to turn our brokenness into something beautiful. I am learning that in order to fully pour out into my children and create the environment of peace in my home, I cannot do it alone. I am in desperate need of God, who is the King of all Kings, to become the King of our lives. He is the glue to this family and provider of all things. He is the only one who knows my deepest struggles and pain. I can NOT hold it altogether all the time. None of us are capable of doing that, but our God is, so that we don't have to. “He is before ALL things and in Him all things hold together” (Colossians 1:17). Like Moses, I sometimes question God. Am I adequate enough to be their mother? Are you sure this was meant for me? I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. Am I doing okay parenting them? I have this fear that I’m going to fail them and mess them up somehow.

Then the Lord replied, I will go with you and give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14).

Friends, for me, as I am on this journey of Motherhood, I need to lean into scripture and truth every single day to find rest. Not only physical rest, but a rest from my world around me. A rest to reprieve my depleted soul. Rest to pour into myself what I have just poured out all day into other things and people. Rest to receive grace and reflect in gratitude of all the good around me. In the study I did, the author challenged me not to complain at all for one day and that’s including the thoughts that go through my mind. She said to replace our complaints with joyful words instead. She said gratitude is the perfect substitute for grumbling. I accepted the challenge and though I may have still complained a couple times that day, I was more aware of it, and replaced those thoughts with words of joy. This changed my outlook on life and on parenting. I challenge you to try it. Now, I am trying to get in the habit of capturing negative thoughts, releasing them to God, and replacing them with thoughts guided by the Spirit. As I wrap up this post, I just want to pray for you, for me, and for all the parents out there.

Father, thank you for being with us wherever we go. I trust that you see our exhaustion. I pray that we may find rest in You and in Your word. I lift up all parents to You Father... all of our struggles, all of our battles. I know that You are the only One capable of turning our brokenness into something beautiful. You have a plan and a purpose for each of us, just as You did with Moses. The key for us God is to BELIEVE in You and Your plans. To make the changes You are calling us to make, and let You work out the rest. Father, as we come before you, help us strengthen our faith and our bond with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.