Updated: Jan 2, 2021
We've all been there.
Are you currently stuck in a funk? If so, I know exactly where you are. If not right now, I know you can relate because we’ve all been there.
I can remember exactly when my funk started last month (April). It all started with weeks of rainy weather that seemed like it was never going to end. Both boys stuck with me inside the house 24/7, my father-in-law's anniversary of his passing last year, and me being sick for over a month. I had been struggling with allergies that turned into a sinus infection. I am now on an antibiotic and starting to see the light at the end of this tunnel.
Truthfully, we all know that being sick is no fun when you have kids to take care of. We don’t get the rest we need. We can’t do much with the kids because we don’t feel good. We can’t go do much of anything really, especially when it's raining all the time. We are more irritable, and everyone is stir crazy!
I have opted for simple and convenient this past month to make life a little easier on myself with not feeling 100 percent. With that said… my workouts, my eating habits, my intimacy with my husband, my time with the kids, time with friends, and my sanity... all seems like it has gone by the waste side. Yea…I may just be losing my mind over here (haha).
Sometimes it takes losing our mind, coming to our wits end or reaching our limits (however you want to put it) to realize something really important. Here’s what I realized: I was not accepting my reality. I was not okay with my circumstances. I showed myself no compassion. I was not walking around enjoying life, I was deep down not happy. I refused to see the beauty in each day because I was allowing my circumstances to steal my joy.
When I finally got to the point where I was being negative every day, I knew it wasn’t good. I was feeling down on how my body felt from not being able to work out. I was criticizing how I looked, my kids were irritating me more and more every day, I was grouchy with my spouse...something had to change, and it was me!
I saw a post on FB that said... “Do your kids see Jesus in you today?” I thought to myself, annoyed as ever... “Nope they sure don't...not today." I then thought, what good is it doing anyone, including myself, by being like this? By having this attitude? No one is benefiting from this, not my kids, not my husband and not myself. It was time for prayer, intervention, and some much-needed reflection.
Yep I’m sick. Yep my autoimmune is flared from being sick. Yep I’m staying home with the kids. Yep we have no family in town to help give me a break, even just for an hour or two to run errands. Yep my husband and I haven’t had a date in weeks. Yep I haven’t been able to go workout. Yep I haven’t had hardly any “me” time lately. Yep, Dave (David's dad) is no longer with us to ease our worries and lighten us up. Oh how we miss him! The complaining could go on, but I think that's enough. You get the point.
Sometimes, this is the BIG bottom line, it is what it is right now, and it is going to be okay. Yep that’s all. These ARE my current circumstances, so I can either find joy in all of it or keep complaining my way into a deep depression. Yea…I will take the joy instead ;).
Now, that bottom line may come off a little harsh, but that statement can also take a lot of the pressure off. At least it does for me. That statement helps me accept the way things are. I have found, when I accept the present, I start living in the present. I can find joy again. I can find beauty in all the small moments that I was refusing to see before.
I have always been a problem solver, a fixer, a person you can count on to persevere through anything. I grew up having to adapt to change quickly and find solutions to make the best out of some unfortunate situations. A lot of times in the past when things would go wrong, I would find a solution and go after it, but that solution sometimes made things more complicated. My decisions were at times irrational out of trying to find a “quick” fix to the problem. I would move on to the next step or the next thing, which took me away from dealing with reality and the feelings of the present. It also took me off the right path.
At times, I don't even know where to begin. That’s why, in the past it has been so much easier to just fix things, find a quick solution, and move on. Unfortunately, things have their way of catching up to us and eventually we have exhausted all of our other options. Therefore, I am a huge advocate on therapy. It really helps me navigate through my emotions during different situations when I do not know where to even begin.
Trust me, I get it. It can be really hard to face reality and deal with current emotions. We live in a culture where we want instant gratification. We want to feel better right now and the sooner we can find a solution, the better. I still struggle with it. I am trying to find the balance of accepting the way things are, yet still figuring out what I should do to help make our circumstances better in the near future. This may be something small like reaching out to other moms and getting together more. Going to the gym more. It doesn't have to be a big change all of the time to make a big difference.
On those extra stressful days with the kids, I’m guilty of pressing forward by having thoughts like these... “When my kids are a little older and we are past this season, things will be better." "If we had money to go do more things, maybe we will feel better." "When (blank) changes, things will be better." "Maybe if I work, things will be better and I can get a break." These are examples of me not accepting the reality of my current season and counting on the future to make me happier. I can take a step back and tell you that I would never want to wish my time away with the kids or this season of life. I know my work at home is very important and that this time will all be a blur as the years go on. What will be left, will be memories made and a strong foundation. However, during the moments of tantrums, tears, and constant irritation between brothers, it is hard not to have these thoughts at times.
I can also allow myself to get frustrated or angry and blame my past for my current circumstances. I tend to think “If only I would have done things differently.” Or “If only I would have been focused on the right things.” Or “If only I didn’t make that decision, how would things be now?” These are examples of things I say when I’m living in the past. I let these thoughts foster in my mind, and they tend to bring me down to the point where I’m no longer enjoying the present.
I have found that accepting reality (as hard as it is at times) is THE BEST solution for multiple reasons. Here’s why:
1.) You Actually Deal With Your Circumstances (instead of finding the quickest fix). 2.) You Think Through Your Emotions (instead of not allowing yourself to feel your frustration, pain, anger, sadness, whatever the emotion may be). 3.) You Tend to Make More Rational Biblical Decisions When Moving Forward. 4.) You Live More in The Present (instead of the past or future). 5.) You Find True Joy (by being able to embrace the positives in your current reality).
For me, these 5 realizations came from bringing my concerns, my doubts, my negativity, my fears, my bad mood, and my emotions to God. He never leaves my side even when I choose to leave His. I am so grateful for His grace with me. He gives me the words and the wisdom to share with you as I’m learning and growing. He doesn’t promise a struggle free life, but He does promise His presence and peace in the midst of our struggles. All I have to do is lean back in closer and He is there. The peace is there. Thank goodness! I seriously don't know what I would do without Him guiding me each step of the way. He is my lifeline, my first counselor, my joy, and the support I need to get me out of a funk ;).
Let's give God a HUGE thank you for this day!
Now, lets count our blessings. Kiss our babies. Love like no other. Give this life our all and go enjoy the day while we still can shall we? Feel free to click through the slideshow of pictures below.
"But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." John 14:26