PRAISING IN YOUR REALITY WHILE WAITING IN UNCERTAINTY
Updated: Jan 2, 2021
It's All in the Timing
A part of my struggle as a mom who stays home is the wonder and a little worry about what my future looks like. What will I do when I decide to work outside of the home? How will that work because I still need to get the kids off the bus by 3:30? What am I to do with my life because one day my children will go off and have a life of their own? I want to do something with purpose God, what is that? What is in store for me and my future? My mind started racing as the list of questions and the worry continued to overwhelm me. Continue reading along to discover how I found hope and truth when I least expected it.
Today, I woke up feeling conquered, discouraged not ready to take on the day ahead. I was so negative, thinking "Yay for me...just another day in the life as a SAHM (Stay-at-Home-Mom)." I was exhausted and feeling alone first thing. I went to get the kids from their rooms, and we went downstairs. I changed my two-year old's diaper as he fights me the whole time. My husband had coffee made so I pour myself a cup. I get the kids cartoons on and soon after that, I realize I had an unread message on my phone from my sister in law. She said God put it on my heart to pray for you this morning. How can I be praying for you? Nothing other than a God thing for me to have been on her heart this morning...like are you kidding me?
"I was exhausted and feeling alone first thing."
I then went on to tell her...."Good morning Amber. Thank you for reaching out. I am in a place where I feel like God is restoring me. There are days however, I’m wondering and waiting and asking God where are you? I am in counseling, healing from some childhood things." (which by the way, it can be hard to feel like God is with us when we are suffering. We tend to be saddened by the facts. We feel like why am I going through this? or why did this happen to me?) I went on to tell her, "I am reading a lot for healing and trying to be more intimate with God. I am just waiting on how God may want me to use all of this, including my personal journey. He has put certain desires on my heart and wired me a certain way, so I’m just trying to discern "the how" and waiting on His timing. It has been more difficult with no family in town for David and I to get some alone time. I just pray to protect our marriage and for me to stand firm against the lies of Satan." I then asked her, how can I be praying for you guys?
Weirdly enough, through the situation she had me pray for her on, I was reminded in that moment of how good our God is. I won't share with you what she shared with me, but from an outsider looking in, I can just see God at work. He is doing so many great things in their lives. I saw His light yet again. I was reminded of how He uses people. I was reminded that He is here. I was reminded He knows exactly what we need.
Our conversation went on to be healthy, encouraging, and a reminder that God knows just what we need right when we need it. I needed to hear from someone, anyone to give me the encouragement that God knew I needed at that exact moment. The reality is, this is my life right now and this is how He planned it. Yea...it has its ups and downs with the kids and with everyday life but it’s still a really good life. Actually, it’s beyond good. It's great! There are people where their reality is cancer, disease, things I only hope I never have to experience. They would do anything for my reality and my “normal” right now while, here I am discouraged and saddened. I needed to be reminded of how much worse it could be and how good my reality is. God has a way to pull us out of our muddling, our funk, our pit, however you want to put it. He pulled me out of my pit today. He pulled me out as I cry in pure thankfulness for my reality.
"The reality is, this is my life right now and this is how He planned it."
I needed help this morning and actually needed help this past week. I’ve been waiting for God to reveal what to do next. I didn’t even know what I should be writing about lately and well...here I am writing. He is my fighter and He sent my sister-in-law as light to remind me of how He works. To remind me He isn't done working in me yet and to trust Him. I still have a road ahead that includes so much good in the midst of my suffering. It is inevitable that we all will have suffering in this life, but He promises that it will all work out for our good according to His will (Romans 8:28).
While writing and feeling more encouraged, I turned on Christian music to praise God. As I was typing this post, "Our God is greater, our God is stronger just started playing and I just stopped and cried. All of a sudden, I was overwhelmed with so much joy in my heart and released so much needed emotion. I was reminded just how big our God is. What we see as impossible, He sees as possible. When we feel lonely in our suffering, He is showing us that He is here. All the songs after that one were EXACTLY what I needed to hear, so much that I literally could not stop praising him and crying. I literally laughed while crying and said God are you serious right now? This song, really? I'm sure you can relate to this moment, when we look up and think God, really? Only you could see what I needed in this exact moment.
"What we see as impossible, He sees as possible."
You see guys my point is, our God is our sword and shield everyday single day. Satan tries to steal our joy. He does this more than I even realize, but Satan did not win today. We can choose to never let him win. I know that it's harder some days than others, but remember that Jesus prayed for our protection from the evil one while He was here on earth (John 17:15). In 1 John 4:4, we are told that God who lives in us is greater than he who is in the world (Satan). We can choose to protect our joy, our minds, our better days, our encouragement, our love, our promises from God, our future, our relationships, and all the other GOOD that comes from God. Always remember this choice.